GoDaddy, a leading domain registrar and internet piranha announced that it is withdrawing support for Syria, red light cameras, and Justin Bieber. In a statement released to the press just moments ago, the company explained:

“After the outcry over SOPA, we decided to take a second look at other things we supported in the past. You know, just to make sure. Well, as it turns out, there were a few other positions we should probably rethink, and this is the first (though probably not the last) step in correcting those oversights.”

GoDaddy has been under major assault over the past few days after company’s long-standing support for Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) became public. Scores of internet opinion makers from Wikipidia to I Can Has Cheezburger have decried GoDaddy’s position and took their business elsewhere. This in turn caused GoDaddy to finally withdraw its support for SOPA.

More from the statement:

“We can explain almost everything on this list. For example, we’ve long admired Syria’s strong, no-nonsense leadership and its key position in the Middle East. Though not without faults, we firmly believed that Syria is, on balance, a good country to get behind.

As far as red light cameras go, we liked that they’re good for both the public (in that they promote safety) and for the government (in that they make it easier to rip off the public). Again, nothing is perfect in this world, but surely you can understand our position. Besides, hindsight is twenty twenty, right?

Finally, the whole Justin Bieber thing was a mistake. We were just looking to support a fresh new face in music and for whatever reason decided to go with Bieber. Unfortunately, we were only recently made aware of the deep, nearly universal hatred that exists for this young man outside of a few million teenage girls. We should’ve gone with Taylor Swift instead.

In conclusion, we’d like to remind you that we still have Danica Patrick as our spokesmodel and she, as far as we can tell, continues to be well liked.”

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