One of my favorite things to do is write satirical articles on various technology topics. Quite often, the first thing I come up with is a funny headline. Then, through the magic of non-procrastination, some of those headlines get written into full stories. Unfortunately (or fortunately), not all do.

Here are some of my unused geek humor headlines from this year. Enjoy!

US Patent Office Issues Patent for Patenting Process

In what observers are calling “some kind of mistake”, US PTO has granted a patent on the process of “recording a description of a process with the intent of obtaining exclusive rights to said process to the inventor for a limited time”.

Google to Build World’s Largest Riddle Generator

To keep up with the demands of recruiting and hiring, Google recently announced plans to invest up to $1B to build the world’s most advanced riddle generator.

Microsoft to Redesign Steve Ballmer Using New Metro UI

Emboldened by its recent sucesses with Metro, Microsoft has finally decided to tackle one of its longest standing eye sores: Steve Ballmer.

Agile Coach Fired After Just One Season

Merv Kippington, Agile coach of AmeriCorp’s Enterprise Application Development Team was fired after just one season with the organization. “The disappointing release record achieved by this team made us realize that a change was needed,” said Glib Mikkins, company’s CTO.

The Brogrammer Fraternity

The Nu Iota Lambda fraternity is dedicated to enjoying and/or exploiting the three B’s of the brogrammer: beer, babes, and bits (not necessarily in that order).

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This post got 2 comments so far. Care to add yours?

  1. If memory serves, your methodology is the same as that of the Onion – figure out a funny headline and then “fill in” the story. You’re in good company. 🙂