New Virus Reinstalls IE6 on Infected Machines
January 5th, 2012
A new computer virus called KaBlueE is spreading havoc around the internet by re-installing IE6 on infected machines. The timing of this pandemic is especially devastating in light of the fact that IE6 usage has finally dropped below 1%.
To add insult to injury, in addition to re-installing IE6, the virus also sets the home page to my.yahoo.com. As one industry insider pointed out:
“Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, it did. Sure, a lot of us were using My Yahoo as our homepage back in the early 2000’s, but I haven’t even seen a Yahoo page in at least 3 years. What a sick joke this is.”
Internet Community in Disarray
With the Internet abuzz, reactions to KaBlueE are nothing short of overwhelming:
- Sporadic candle light vigils have been breaking out in headquarters of many internet companies including Google, Amazon, and I Can Haz Cheezburger.
- Worldwide developer organization Devs Without Borders is conducting non-stop hacking sessions aimed at eradicating the virus.
- The entire W3C HTML Working Group (the standards body responsible for HTML5) as well as most of Microsoft’s IE Team were temporarily placed on suicide watch.
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Perhaps a quote from a top security expert (who asked to remain anonymous) best sums up the prevailing sentiment:
“Creators of KaBlueE are obviously deranged. I mean, I understand creating a virus to steal banking passwords or to turn computers into zombie bots. I don’t condone it, but I understand it. But this? What kind of sick bastard would get off on re-installing IE6? It’s unconscionable.”
End Users Impacted As Well
With more and more end users being infected, horrifying stories of horror are pouring in. Mary Lou Hemming, a retired accountant from suburban Atlanta, was one of the victims of KaBlueE. She described her harrowing ordeal to a local reporter:
“You know, my internet is kinda slow and my bank’s website looks sorta funny, but I really don’t understand why all these reporters are at my house. Did we win something?”
Jake Millen, a contractor from Portland, described his terrible experience after being hit by KaBlueE:
“I logged onto Facebook and it looked all messed up, but I just assumed it was another redesign.”
Final Thought
Many security experts consider KaBlueE to be extremely dangerous. John Mitchell, a leading expert on computer viruses, explains:
“It’s hard to underestimate the impact of this terrible virus. It could literally set us back a decade and make Melissa, Code Red, and Nimda look like child’s play. If we don’t get a hold of this infection soon, may God have mercy on us all.”
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This post got 11 comments so far. Care to add yours?
Thank you for making us laugh :))
You’re welcome Serge, glad you enjoyed it!
This virus is horrible! It takes us right back to the stone age! I cannot believe there are people out there who want to impose this outdated and inefficient technology on users again. 🙁
Anyway, the question is now, how do I get rid of IE6 and get my Netscape back?
excellent question Delce. I suppose someone would need to write another virus to take out IE6 and install Netscape. While they’re at it, they may also want to add Eudora.
Ah, those were the days: Netscape + Eudora in WFW on a 486. I still have the 486 — it makes a dandy footrest. 😉
Thanks for your comment Jack!
Do you believe that Windows 7 is better at protecting pc users from malware and spyware? I have two laptops with Windows 7 installed and both have experienced issues with viruses. Now it may be that my better half uses one plus my boy uses the other. Nevertheless os’s need to protect the pc despite who’s using it. Just saying.
Fantastic article, made me lough out loud a few times 😀 “What kind of sick bastard would get off on re-installing IE6?”
Makes me want to install it on my machine just to see how crap webpages actually render.
Thank you very much Broojo, glad you enjoyed it!
One of the best satirical posts I’ve read in a while. Good job!
That’s very nice of you to say, thank you.